Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
