Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
