oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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