I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
This is not my ceiling
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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