she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
