Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
