He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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