im drinking this country out of the recession.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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