she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
