Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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