There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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