Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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