I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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