I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
