She's JV to your varsity
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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