Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
