Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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