I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
