Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This can only be settled by a dance off.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
