im drinking this country out of the recession.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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