sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
