Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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