you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
