Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
