Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
