I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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