You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
