she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
