im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
