What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
