i would punch a child for taco bell
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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