Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
