She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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