i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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