Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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