There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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