THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
