3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
