It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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