Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
