it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
