he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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