My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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