Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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