Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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