Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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