I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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