Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
