i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
