Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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