Buhtt sex?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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