Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
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today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here