was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
