Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
