doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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