No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
