she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
