And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
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Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
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Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I supernannyed him into submission
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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