my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
