More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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