I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
