Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
