Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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