READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the day after is always just damage control
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
