We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
