is your mom at the bar?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
