Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
