she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The Olympian is in my bed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
