Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
